How to Stay Positive During Your Search

And so it begins...
If you ended up on this page and are not sure what a blog or blogging is, then click this link Blogging (but remember to come back here).
When WHO-TV interviewed me and invited me to join this blog, I thought that it would be both interesting and pertinent since the majority of people that I know in IT have been laid off at least once since 2000 (when Y2K did not end civilization and the Internet bubble burst). Now I feel like I need to write something useful, entertaining, and compelling as there are a ton of good blogs and bloggers out there competing for your eyeballs. We'll see if I can pull it off.

This past week is the first week in a while where I can legitimately say that I have multiple irons in the fire. Having a definite and specific position for which you are actively interviewing has a huge positive impact on mental state. Having more than one opportunity is even more uplifting. It is critically important to stay positive during a job search, but anybody that has spent more than a couple weeks looking for a new position knows that there are ups and downs during the process and it can sometimes be hard to stay positive. During the WHO interview Dave asked me how I stay so positive. My response was, "my faith, my family, and my friends." Which is true but incomplete--TV interviews are not really designed for long detailed answers.
So, I thought that I would offer some additional thoughts on how to stay positive during a job search--with a generic overall attribution to many of the folks in my outplacement group who offered several of these ideas.

1. Faith - Obviously, this will not work for everybody, but I'm a Christian and take comfort in knowing that God is in control and loves me (even when I'm unemployed). I have no idea why some people with credentials virtually identical to mine get a call out of the blue after two short weeks from a friend of a friend of their cousin's brother's ex-wife's former caterer with the opportunity of a lifetime when I have to bust my hump week after week (side note--networking is part of the answer but seriously some people just have things land in their lap). Life does not always seem fair to me, but I still believe that God is in control and that He loves me--which comforts me. So, I'd encourage you to seek strength in your house of worship.

2. Family - Your family (more than likely) loves you unconditionally. They want you to be happy. Accept their support. This may be especially useful if you are normally the strong silent type or you are typically the strong leader figure in the family. You may be pleasantly surprised by the core strength of your family. If you have a tough day, let your family know and let them help cheer you up. Even if you are the kind of family leader that doesn't want to share all the details and place undue stress on your family, you can share with your family when you need a pick-me-up (even if you don't provide all the details). Maybe your spouse will plan a romantic evening for you. Or your daughter will draw you a picture. Give them a chance to put a smile on your face. However, remember this is a give-and-take proposition. Your family is also under stress while you are looking for work (this is especially true if you are the provider in a single-income family). So, when you are having a good day, be the one lifting them up.

3. Friends - Humans are social beings. We like to do things with others. We like to be on the team. The first team is your family (see above). The next team is your friends. They already know you and can be a steady stream of encouragement. If you haven't already shared your situation with your friends, do so immediately (this is all part of networking which is critically important to your search). Maybe even go to lunch--you have to eat anyway and who knows, your friends may even buy your lunch. They will want to help you with your search. If they are in IT, they have probably already been laid off at least once in their own career and if not they will be at some point in the future (so they will be especially sympathetic). Virtually everyone knows somebody that has been laid off and therefore can appreciate the challenges of being laid off. An added benefit is that your friends can also help you stay accountable and can be a great sounding board to bounce ideas against.

[The first 3 items could possibly be summed up by the statement, "we are not alone."]

4. Plan - Plan the work and work the plan. There is something immensely satisfying about crossing tasks off your list. So, your search plan will not only help you land the next gig, but can also help you stay positive on the way. Your plan can also help you avoid making hasty (and often bad) decisions--bad decisions can definitely increase your stress level. Even if you don't have your search plan completed yet, you can at least make a schedule or list of daily tasks and cross items off the list as you accomplish them. Having a standardized routine, so that you do not have to constantly be making decisions about what to do next, can reduce your stress level. It'll also help you focus, fight boredom, and prevent you from wasting time.

5. Party - Take a break. Don't spend 12 hours a day, seven days a week on the computer. This will be hard for work-aholics and over-achievers. We just have a hard time having fun when there is work to be done. But it's important to establish a balance in your life. Schedule time (see Plan above) to do something you enjoy. Something that will cause you to laugh and smile is best (there is all kinds of data on the physiology of smiling out there). If you enjoy reading, set aside time to read something fun (I am on book #4 of Jordan's Wheel of Time series). Or maybe a movie (the matinee show is usually less expensive). Or maybe a weekend trip--there is a cool Union Pacific railroad museum in Council Bluffs. You might even throw yourself a party--just a casual affair--invite your friends to your "Find-Me-A-Job" party and start networking. Have fun with it. And while Mae West believed that, "too much of a good thing can be wonderful," just remember that this is the diversion and finding the job is still the priority.

6. Physical (Exercise/Diet/Sleep) - You'll have to tailor this item to meet your individual needs. I won't get into the technical explanation of the physiology of exercise and benefit of endorphins (mostly cause I don't know the exact details), but exercise (in moderation) makes you feel good. Exercise also takes your mind off job search (as you focus on the exercise). And in addition to improving your mental condition, it has the added benefit of improving your physical condition. It's even better if your exercise program is consistent (see Plan above). Unless you're already a gym rat, you probably should not go overboard with exercise just because you have more time than usual. I have decided that now is not the time to train to compete in the IronMan (even though it is on my Bucket List along with running the Iditarod). In fact, I haven't done too well with my exercise program. My wife and I have enjoyed walking in the past, but Winter in IA is not conducive to walking and my wife has sustained a foot injury. Proper diet can also contribute to your sense of well-being (watch out for those fleeting sugar highs) and make sure you get enough sleep (different people need different amounts of sleep so just make sure to take care of yourself).

7. Support Group/Networking - This could have even been #3B. Meet some new (also unemployed) friends and get together weekly. These are the easiest people to network with and can provide tremendous support as they know exactly what you are going through. Often they can also help with basic mechanics of the search process and have answers to questions that may come up in your search. Your former company may have provided you with outplacement services that can help with this, but if not there are also groups like the Career Transition Support Group at Westview Church or the Hope@Work Group at Lutheran Church of Hope. Remember to try to supply and not just consume assistance/support/leads with this type of group.

8. Try/Learn/Do something new - This can not only lift your spirits but also provide a practical benefit. Learn a new skill. There are free instructions online for an unbelievable number of topics--for example, with such instructions it is actually fairly easy to build a computer from scratch--although the parts may be an expense that you aren't willing to incur. If you cannot find what you want for free check the local community college. Or your local library. You might want to learn how to use some of the MS Office products a little better (just click the Help tab). Or even have your spouse show you how to do the laundry.

9. Volunteer - It may not be intuitively obvious when you are discouraged but helping others in need can be a tremendously uplifting experience. Find an organization that can use your gifts, talents, and skills and donate your time and experience. As an added bonus this effort may enable you to hone/polish your skills and you never know who you will meet. The Waukee Area Christian Food Pantry can always use help and United Way can put you in contact with any number of other organizations that need volunteers.

10. Reality Check - Stop and smell the roses. Take a step back and count your blessings. Reflect on all the things in your life that are going right. Maybe your daughter is performing at the All-State competition of the Iowa High School Speech Association. Maybe your health is good. Maybe you did NOT have your retirement account being managed by Bernie Madoff. Don't underestimate the little things. Sometimes just getting all the stop lights green on the way to Menards is enough to make your day.
It's also important to have realistic expectations related to your search (kind of position you are qualified for, duration of interview process when dealing with mega-corporations, etc.). Also, remember the job search advice from the Highlander, "there can be only one." As good as you are, try not to be disappointed if you do not get an offer every single time you land an interview.

It is almost impossible not to have ups and downs; however, recognize when you are down and take steps to lift your spirits. Obviously, the tips above are not the only way to stay positive during your search; however, I hope that they can help you. Feel free to post your other ideas for how to remain positive.